The Connection of Personal and Collective Transformation
Personal and Collective transformation are connected.
Living in an Unjust World
We live in an unjust world that is not set-up to ensure that everyone can thrive. We have to witness a lot of suffering in the world. We live in broken systems that privilege certain people while disadvantaging others. There are so many issues in our world that are hard to witness, especially when you are aware of the suffering in the world and want to do something about it.
When you deeply care for others and want to impact the world positively, that shouldn’t be considered a problem.
The problem is that we have an unfair distribution of who is doing the caring in our society and doing the work to create positive change in the world.
Patriarchy and white supremacy work to create a disproportionate distribution of who is doing the work to ensure we are all cared for and nurtured while also undervaluing that work on multiple levels.
You shouldn’t be shamed for caring about others. More shame will only feed into the narrative that you need to prove that you deserve the care you give others.
It isn’t your fault that other people are more focused on themselves and their own needs than reciprocating the care you give.
Yes, it can be helpful to set boundaries and honor your own needs, AND we live in a society that disregards the importance of the care work that is done, both collectively and in our personal lives.
With so much suffering in the world, it can be easy to lose yourself while trying to make a positive impact. It can be easy to forget about your own needs when working to make a positive change, but it is an essential part of creating collective change.
It is beautiful to want to care about others, and you can’t sustainably create a positive impact without caring for yourself as well. In order to create the positive change we want to see in the world, we have to embody it in ourselves and our communities.
Being of Service
Within yoga philosophy, karma yoga emphasizes the importance of service and focuses on how we act instead of the outcome of our actions. Our actions matter, and we have to give up any attachment to the results of our actions.
This concept can feel so foreign to many of us who are trying to make a positive impact on the world.
Of course, we want to feel that what we do matters, that we can positively impact the world around us, and that what we offer the world is valued.
It is essential to serve the world and others. When we align our actions with our values and desires, we can access a sense of self-trust and connection to our inner wisdom. The action itself is rewarding and fulfilling while also being of service to something greater than ourselves.
When we focus too much on the outcome of our actions or on getting validation from others, we slowly get further away from where our inner wisdom may be guiding us. We may start to act out of integrity and may even go against our values.
You may start contorting our actions and behaviors to please, soothe, or change those around us. You may believe that if you can change enough, the other person or situation will, too.
This can show up as:
You take overresponsibility for other's actions and even for social problems.
You put your own needs for sleep and healthy eating aside to show up to every protest or put in hours and hours of overtime because you feel responsible for alleviating the suffering in the world.
You might schedule that therapy appointment for your partner when they don't take the initiative to do it.
You may endlessly listen to a friend while they are upset but feel like you can't share your genuine thoughts or feelings without them exploding or withdrawing.
When you focus on the outcome, your service will never be enough, and you may focus your energy on people and situations that will not change no matter what you do. This will lead you to feeling depleted, hopeless, and helpless.
The hard truth is that others will not change unless they choose to. The more you do for them, the less incentive they have to change.
On a collective level, the hard truth is that you can't fix broken systems on your own, no matter how many hours you put in or how much you sacrifice.
Social change requires collective action and social movements to create real, sustainable change.
There is a lot you can't change, but you do have a choice in your actions. You can decide to make choices that align with your values, even when it is hard and people don't respond how you wish they would.
You can choose to carve out time to take care of yourself, get the support you need, and live a lifestyle that supports your well-being.
You can keep going even when you don't see the desired results because you continue to hold the vision and trust that you are making a difference when you lead from inner wisdom and self-trust.
Collective Experiences
We live in a culture that teaches us to shut off the suffering, dissociate, and disembody. We are taught to blame ourselves or blame/dehumanize others so we don’t have to feel the pain.
Coming back home to ourselves requires us to build our capacity to sit the pain within ourselves and others.
Integrating somatic practices into our lives is more than just doing some movements with our bodies. Somatics give us a framework to understand the human experience as a multi-faceted integrated experience.
When we hold the complexity of being human, we must acknowledge how we are deeply intertwined with each other.
Our nervous systems are wired to co-regulate with others when we are born. We are deeply impacted by what we are witnessing and experiencing in the world on a cellular level.
When conditioned to disregard the innate intelligence within our own bodies, it makes it easier to remain in a state of defensiveness that leads to dehumanization and violence against others.
When we silence our own feelings and internal experiences, that gets reflected in our relationships and then into the collective dynamics.
When we are attuned to ourselves, we can better attune to others and their suffering.
Somatic practices help us build capacity for the suffering (and the joy) to become less reactive and cause less harm.
Creating a little space to be more present with yourself and what is happening in the world can give you more choices in how to approach things.
Many things are out of our control, but there will always be some slight wiggle room of choice when we allow ourselves to see the truth of a situation.
Creating a New Way of Being
When working to create change in our lives and the world, we oftenå create something that we have never experienced before.
The collective change we are working toward looks like:
All people have what they need to thrive
Shifting our culture toward one that uplifts well-being over productivity
Equitable sharing of power and resources across race, gender, ability level, and sexual orientation
Creating something new can be exciting and terrifying. The possibility of it can be energizing, but it also means stepping into the unknown.
When we are working to transform ourselves or larger collective experiences, simultaneous unraveling and building are necessary.
We have to shift our beliefs, actions, and relationships, which were built from our old way of being and are not actually good for us but feel familiar and comfortable.
Our nervous system can react to unfamiliar things as a threat, even if they are what is best for us in the long run. Fear is a normal part of the process of transformation and healing.
When I’m working with my clients to heal from experiences of trauma, there is this point when the old patterns start to shift before the new patterns and experiences are fully formed.
Your life begins to change when you listen to yourself, speak up, honor your needs, and stand up to abusive behaviors. Relationships, jobs, and experiences that can’t hold the healthier version of you start to crumble.
This moment can be a decision point: whether to go back to what you are used to or keep moving forward in the process of healing.
There can be a pull to return to familiar old patterns that feel comfortable and known, especially when fear obscures the vision of what you are working toward.
I see this same pattern in political organizing and larger social movements. Social change's inherent fear and messiness can sometimes feel insurmountable, leading to people disengaging or feeling hopeless that change is possible.
All change requires us to have faith and be able to imagine something we have never experienced before. We must believe that things can be different, that we can feel more at ease, fulfilled, and aligned, that we should create structures that work for all people so that the world can have less suffering, and that our actions, energy, and time will make a difference.
Practicing that faith and holding the vision within your embodied experiences can help bolster you to keep moving forward. We can do it individually and with others to help us remember why personal and collective healing work is worth it.
Somatic Practice
A short guided meditation to support you in embracing the uncertainty of the transformation process.
